Thursday, February 21, 2013

Complicating simplicity!

“Please don’t take this the wrong way Anu ...” he started. Anu’s eyelids fluttered as she looked up at him. Anybody who started a statement this way was definitely not planning on saying something nice.

“What is it Rahul?” she asked.
“Hmm ... I ... actually the thing is, I have been wanting to tell you this for a long time but ...”

Anu discreetly bent her head close to her shoulder and sniffed. Then she took a deep breath and tried it again. The Dove rub-on deodorant was doing its job well. So it wasn’t that. Well then, what could it be?

“What?” she said, glancing in his direction as she steadied yet another book on the shelf. She had been doing this for about twenty minutes now scooting on the floor as Rahul handed her the books and the activity was starting to tire her out.

“You’re making me nervous” she continued, as she stifled a yawn and put out her hand to Rahul for the next set of books. “Since when have you been hesitant about saying what’s on your mind?”

“OK!” Rahul started, putting out his hand to shush her. “Let me just say it. Don’t make me to be a flirt. I am not. I just wanted to say that had I not been married ...” he paused, waiting to see if she was looking around for something to beat him up with. She was waiting. Expectant.

“If I wasn’t married and if you weren’t married then I would have ...”. She raised an eyebrow. Well, he had already said this much. Might as well finish the rest as the harm was already done. “ ... proposed you.” He finished with a sheepish grin.

Silence ensued.
“Is everything OK between you and Palakh?” she enquired, obviously confused by this revelation.
“Oh yes, seriously Anu. Everything is absolutely fine. I love Palakh a lot and I know she reciprocates my feelings too.”
“So does Vinod and so do I. We are a happily married couple Rahul.” she countered.

This was so going in the wrong direction. Looking at her he couldn’t discern if she was angry or just plain upset with him. Time to clear the air.

“Relax Anu. Look. I just meant it as a compliment.”
“That’s a weird way of complimenting someone. Its not very flattering, you know? What would people think?”

He rolled his eyes at the thought of other people knowing. He should have just kept his mouth shut. Whoever came up with the phrase ‘Speak what’s on your mind’ had definitely not been talking to a woman when he had coined that.

“Why would people know? Why do they have to know? I gave you a compliment. In private.” he reasoned.
“And what if Palakh or Vinod found out?” she asked.
“Anu stop. Stop. It was an innocent statement. All it meant was that you are a very nice person. Any guy would be crazy about you and lucky to marry you. That’s all it meant.” He paused before continuing. “Don’t make it a bigger deal than it already is.” Now the whole conversation was starting to get on his nerves. Whatever had possessed him to blurt it out like this. He mentally slapped himself twenty times as he looked at her, wondering what she would say next. What had been stated so innocently was being perceived in a sense that showed him as a voyeur. Jeez. What would Palakh think of him.

“You know what? Forget it. Forget I ever said that.” he said, shaking his head as he nervously shifted on his foot. He needed to clear his head and get some fresh air.
“What do you mean? How can you simply forget something like that?” she asked with an irritated tone.
“Drop it.” he said in a menacing tone, indicating end of topic.
“Besides, this would mean, I am not nice anymore. Because, you said it was a compliment because of me being a nice person. So now if I were to forget it, I am not nice anymore? Is that what you’re trying to say?”

Women! Shrieked the voice in Rahul’s head. He combed his hair with his fingers, mentally ramming them around his own throat in an attempt to choke himself. Looking at a silent Anu he wondered what was going on in her mind. She was probably scheming to get the neighbourhood aunties descend on his residence with rolling pins and pans and whatever heavy they could lay their hands on. Rahul decided to make a run for it while he had the time and opportunity. But then Anu stood up. And as she stood, she turned and looked at him, a strange undecipherable expression on her face. And then she smiled, a demure smile.

“I would have said Yes.”
Women!


I would love to hear your views!

36 comments:

  1. I love it Deepa, especially that last turn. Well written.

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    1. Thank you Shail :) I was a little unsure of how it would be received - there are folks who take such stories too seriously or read too much into it!

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  2. Crisply intoxicating. With a twist of lemon... nice one. Truth is that it happens quite often.

    Arvind Passey
    www.passey.info

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    1. Thank you Arvind! I am glad you enjoyed it!

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  3. Loved it. The twist in the end is good.I wonder what made you not to post this so long as you mentioned in fb?

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    1. Thanks Sunil! Am glad you enjoyed it. I had penned this back in April 2012 but wasn't sure how it would be received. There are folks who get into heated debates instead of enjoying fiction for what it is. The next thing I know, I have people commenting on how she's leading him on! :) Quite a bit of judging also happens and people tie it back to the writer's real life! There's a reason it's called Fiction you know! :) But then if I let that dictate my writing, then I would never get to post anything!

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  4. That was an unexpected twist - Btw, do you think a man could have got away with that "Women!" end? :)

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    1. Ha ha Suresh! I have no idea! Yeah if this had been a real life incident, the conversation definitely wouldn't have ended there but who knows what happened next ;)

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    2. But then, I wonder if she would have gotten away with having said Yes!

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  5. That was a very nice ending. I felt the chemistry from the moment the guy uttered the first words. Our minds are too complex for us to understand.

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    1. Oooh "felt the chemistry from the moment the guy uttered the first words.". Just makes my day! Thanks Amit!

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  6. That was really interesting. A lovely twist, and I didn't see it coming :).

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    1. Thanks Rachna, am glad you liked it :)

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  7. Cheeky, this Anu! I would love to know her myself :)
    Loved your cheeky little tale!

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    1. Nice nice, co-incidentally I just had a friend who told me he knows someone like her for real :D Seems like I should be opening up a dating site or a 'mujhse fraanship karoge' site!

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  8. Superb Deepa! Did not expect that twist!

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    1. :) Thanks Jaish! Am glad you enjoyed it!

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  9. LOL....hahaah...I shouldnt drink water while reading posts like this :P...you must have guessed what happened here? Good one, Deepa. A cute little story. Reality will be different though :)

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    1. Uh-oh :D I am always afraid to read Suresh's or Rickie's posts and drink water at the same time! Their posts are so full of humour or sarcasm, I keep thinking I'll snort out water! Thank you for liking it!

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  10. Cute.Testing the waters-both of them !!!!!!!!!!

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    1. He he in this case even I don't know what happens later! :D

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  11. Loved it !! :)
    www.bbsearchingself.wordpress.com

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    1. Thanks Bhagyashree! Am so happy you enjoyed it! Welcome to my space, hope to see you here more often!

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  12. Very nicely built up, and just loved the ending. Women!

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    1. Thank you Subhorup! Am glad you enjoyed it!

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    2. Nice read. Like the flawless narration.

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  13. haha...superb story! loved it!!

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    1. Thank you :) Am glad you enjoyed it!

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  14. Loved it! You have a nice way of story-telling.

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    1. Thank you so much for those kind words! Am glad you enjoyed it Ramakant! :)

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  15. Reading this a bit late but thoroughly enjoyed it !
    Poor chap to confess something with so much difficulty and then to have someone play with your emotions !

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    1. Responding a week late! Have a brain dead laptop and a pathetic internet connection! :) Am glad you had a fun ride :D He he he! I don't know why it came out that way but when the idea struck me, I just couldn't resist :D

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  16. Very nice...and women definitely can make a guy sweat :)

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  17. It freaked me out, Deepa. The end was with a high and unexpected note :)

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